Make memories

When you have kids, you gain a whole new set of responsibilities. Suddenly you have someone whose life depends on you. You need to keep them fed, clean, warm, and loved. As they grow you need to teach them about them world around them and how to navigate through it. Sooner than you think they will be in school, then there’s homework, tests, and grades. While all of this stuff is important, I think we often forget one of the most important jobs we have as a parent and that is to make memories. To be there, to live in the moment, to leave a lasting impression in the minds of our kids that will be there long after we are gone.

The other night my husband and I were talking about where we want to go for our next trip. Will it be the usual Disneyland trip like we’ve done so many times before or should we go somewhere else this time. While we were trying to decide he said something that really stands out to me, he said “as much as I love Disney it’s not about that, it’s about the memories.” Now admittedly, Disneyland will always be my top choice when it comes to vacations because it really is my favorite place but regardless of where we go, we’ll be making memories with our kids and that’s what’s important.

Twice this school year I have pulled my son out of school to take a trip. The school was not pleased and I’m sure I got the side eye from people we know but it was worth it. Twenty years from now when you ask him to tell you a memory back from when he was 12 it’s not going to be something that happened at school, it’s going to be about getting to go on the Incredicoaster two times in a row with his step dad because the park was closing or dabbing for the picture on Mission Breakout with his mom, or maybe he tell you about his first time seeing World of Color and how beautiful it was.

If you were to ask my middle son about his memories from when he was five, he would probably tell you all about escaping Harold on the Matterhorn or that if you let go at the right time on Guardians you will actually float for just a second. My daughter may be too young for the memories we’ve made so far but when she looks back on the pictures we took, she will feel the happiness radiating from them, I mean look at that face.

Now don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to fly all the way to Disneyland to make memories. Just doing things with your kids, whether it’s arts and crafts, story time, camping, or a trip to the beach, the point is to be present. Live in the moment with them. Life isn’t all about school or work, chores or grades. We aren’t born to just wake up everyday go to work come home and then start all over again and we don’t have children to just send them off to school do homework and then repeat. Take that trip, skip a day of work, show them world, whatever you do just make memories. When they are grown and when you are gone that is when those memories will mean the most.

School vs life experiences

Mark Twain once said “Don’t let schooling get in the way of your education.” I think he might have been on to something here. Now I’m not saying that school isn’t important because it is. Reading, writing, math, and history are all important. To a degree we need them all to live an independent successful adult life. School is typically the first place we learn to socialize and make friends which is another pretty important life skill but school isn’t everything, it doesn’t give you real world life experiences like traveling does.

So far this school year we have taken one vacation however, there will be at least one more before it’s over. Our oldest is the only one currently in school and for him I think these experiences are extra important. If you’ve read previous post then you may already know he is on the spectrum. School is a huge stressor for him. It radiates from him, we all feel it and it’s hard. He tries his hardest but there are still struggles. Five days a week of attending 7 different classes, listening to 7 different teachers talk while trying to understand the work he is given on top of all of the noise and kids, it’s enough to stress anyone out but him even more so. When we take our trips he’s almost like a different kid. His first trip to Disneyland was last summer, change and people are a huge thing for him but he handled it well. He pushed his limits by talking to cast members, something he wouldn’t have done anywhere else. His first experience was with Ariel, one I’ll never forget. She told him she knows how confusing the human world can be and he related to that more than she will ever know. He’s learning how to deal with crowds and noise with just enough fun to make him want to push through. Our now five year old is learning to do things even if they’re kind of scary. They’re learning about flying and what it’s like to be somewhere new. They are making memories that they will carry with long after we are gone.

A few years ago, we pulled Dominic out of school to drive out to Montana. He got to visit many states along the way. He experienced the beauty of the mountains and learned what real snow is. Our boys have already been more places than I have when I was their age. Now a fire inside them has been lit, they want to visit Paris, Japan, even Egypt. They want to learn about Pharaohs and pyramids and see the Eiffel Tower. There’s so much they want to see and learn and experience and we will. Sure they can sit in a classroom and read about these places but given the chance wouldn’t you rather see them for yourself? Now that my kids are starting to understand how big the world really is, now that they’ve flown on planes and realize how far they can take you they have an interest in seeing it all. I’m a strong believer in experiencing life and culture outside of the little corner of the earth we call home. I think it forces us to open our eyes and be accepting of differences among us. It teaches us appreciation and drives us to be better.

There’s no denying that school is an important part of our children’s lives, our teachers work tirelessly for our kids. I could never do what they do but there is so much more to education than just school. I strongly believe that life experiences are really important, I also believe in making memories as much as possible. If you don’t agree leave me a comment and let me know why? If you do tell me one of you favorite memories you have from traveling.

19 Resolutions for 2019

Here we are 2019 can you believe it? I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. It’s crazy how when thinking in the present, time seems to drag but when you take a step back the years really seem to blur together because they just flew by. I decided to start off the New Year I’d do a resolutions blog post. I tried to go more toward meaningful than cheesy or easily failed so in no particular order here are 19 resolutions for 2019.

Get out and do more. When you have anxiety and three kids it’s pretty easy to find excuses to stay home. This year I want to step out of my comfort zone and try and get out of the house more. Whether it’s a walk, trip to the park, or a museum of some kind I really want to try and do more things this year.

Make more ears. Since our last trip I have been lacking in the motivation department. I really I need to get my butt back in gear and start making Minnie ears again. It’s something I’m really enjoy doing and I need to do more things I really enjoy.

Get rid of stuff. I’m sure a lot of people can relate to this one. I have too much stuff, seriously it’s crazy how much unnecessary things you can accumulate over the years. I’ve read that the more stuff you have the more stress you have and I believe it.

Focus. This one kind of ties into number 3. I need to be better at focusing on one thing at a time. Multitasking can be great but it can also make you feel like you haven’t gotten anywhere. My closet, the garage, my kids rooms, the laundry, pick just about any of those and you’ll see me trying to do at least three of them at once. In the end the small dents I make in all of them feels and sometimes look like nothing. Time is better spent focusing on one thing until it’s done and then moving to the next.

Read more. I’ve always loved reading. Getting a library card was the best thing ever when I was kid. All through high school and even after I used to spend hours upon hours reading. The last few years I’ve bought books but haven’t made time to read. Finding a good book is like making a new friend. Like Walt Disney once said “There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island.”

More trips to Disneyland. I mean does this one really need explaining? It’s the happiest place on earth and the feeling you get while you there is a feeling I’d like to feel as much as possible this year.

Meal prep. One goal I have this year is to eat healthier and meal prepping will not only help with that but it will also save tons of money. Too often do I put off going to the store or making food ahead of time for work the next day so of course I end up buying fast food. This is like the trifecta of bad, it’s expensive, it’s generally unhealthy, and it usually doesn’t end up tasting as good as I’d hoped.

Drink more water. I do really well at this for a while and then I’m back to going all day without a glass of water and then wonder why I feel so awful. I really need to get better about drinking a healthy amount everyday.

Be more active. Whether it’s a walk around the block or I get around to putting the treadmill together I need to make an effort to get off my butt more this year.

Cut back on energy drinks. I basically run on caffeine and sarcasm so this will be a hard one. I have been drinking energy drinks for MANY years. I have vowed to stop many times and failed miserably. The only time I didn’t drink them is when I was pregnant. Funny how it’s easier to quit unhealthy habits when someone else’s life is in your hands. On top of being terrible for you the amount of money I spend on them every month is embarrassing!

Go to bed earlier. Another hard one. Some nights it’s the insomnia keeping me up but there are a lot of nights I, like I’m sure many of you, get caught up in tv shows or mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook feed. If I can go to bed at a decent time even like twice a week I will call that a win.

Spend less money. I think too often we all spend money on things we don’t really need. Whether it’s fast food or buying something on impulse, we could all probably try a little harder to ask ourselves “do I really need this?”

Take vitamins. Not much to say about this one. They’re good for you and if you’re like me sometimes you forget to eat or maybe just forget to eat healthy. Taking a daily vitamin definitely can’t hurt.

Go camping! This one I’m excited for, I really love camping. Being disconnected from the rest of the world for a couple of days is a fantastic feeling. Everyone needs a reset every now and then.

Learn how to cope better. Stress and anxiety can be all consuming at times. Finding healthy ways to cope with it all is a must this year.

Tame the temper. I’ll be the first to admit I can go from 0 to 60 some days when the right thing sets me off. I’d really like to get better with that.

Start a book. Maybe? I’m not sure on this one yet. My mom seems to think my life has been interesting enough that people may want to read it about it. What do you think?

Focus more on the good. It’s really easy to focus on the struggles and stress that we are dealing with. I want to try harder to focus on the good things I have in my life.

Be happier. I think if we all made it a habit to just be happy it would be easier to really be happy. I also think happiness is contagious so on the days it’s harder to smile I want to remind myself who else I may be helping.

Phew! That was a long list, hopefully you stuck with me. I know a lot of these kind of tie into each other but I think it’s easier to break your goals down and accomplish them bit by bit. The broader they are the easier it is to make excuses and the easier it is to fail. What are your goals for this year? Leave them in the comment section below. We can totally do this!